So yesterday, May 5, I celebrated being 6 months single. Although, by my own admission, I have not had great success with relationships in general, there has not been a period like this where I have been without one. So I celebrated accordingly, I think. That is, over the weekend I had some 'no strings attached' sex and then, because it fell on cinco de mayo, yesterday I got snookered and slept like a baby. (side note- it was very weird to get drunk on only 3 or 4 beers but, at the same time, good in a way)

I don't know exactly what to think about it though. Although in some ways I am torn, for the most part I am happy that for the first time in my life I have no one to worry about but me. Some of my friends say that this is a by-product of not yet being over Laura. That I can't move on so instead I stay single. I don't see it that way though. I don't want to be with Laura, for sure, but I don't want to be with anyone else either. I want to worry about me and just me.

Now, I have also used it as an excuse, to be sure. Since my weight loss and attitude change, I know that I am more attractive. Some women/girls who I know or who I've been friends with a long time have suddenly become interested in me. My policy is, if I wasn't good enough to date then, then I am not good enough to date now; and I have used the excuse of wanting to be single to keep them at bay. But, truthfully, I am not closed off to a relationship. If I were to meet someone that was worth giving up the single life for, I would. But I haven't yet. And I am not sure I will in the near future.

Is there something wrong with thinking this way? Should every person be looking out for Mr./Miss Right all the time, even if you don't believe in that? Am I just compensating because I am not over Laura?

Laura took the route of becoming involved with someone immediately after we broke up. Of course, she had been lining someone up for that position for sometime before hand and I had not. But I think after a year and a half together- I needed time for me and to get over her and to move on. And I took that time. But I found that I liked who I was and how I was during that time, so why not just continue it on. Not because its getting over her or moving on, i.e. because it is necesary, but rather because it is fun and its what I want right now.

Makes sense to me.