So... I've been thinking more about the immediate future path of my life. I am working a job, making decent money. Paying my bills, saving a little and paying off debt. I have applications/resumes in to several winners from Nov 7, hoping to get a political job that will move me to DC or at least off the shore. I wanna feel like I'm going somewhere in my life, or just write off politics all together.

In the mean time, I've had two main trains of thought.

First, to crawl back to my parents. Beg for 4 more years of support and college loan co-signitures and go to law school. Get out in four or less years with another degree I'm not sure I want to use for a job I really don't like. BUT one in which I can make alot of money, pay off my debt, and if im good, get alot of time off to do what i want.

the second is a bit out of character. the second has me thinking things like "I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke." and "I see the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. "

It makes me want to drive out to WV and build a compound  and build an army...or burn down, blow up, seige, attack anything having to do with society. I have this urge to destroy the thing that would put me in this place. That would waste all of my potential in this cubicle every day...

Then again... maybe I'm just frustrated. Maybe I need to get drunk. or laid. or both. Maybe I'm slowly descending into madness. Driven there by blank gray walls and an incessantly ringing phone.

I dunno. Am I alone here?